my heart is shattered

a few years ago, my first introduction to bright eyes came on a cold winter day. i remember it distinctly as being cautious and wanting to feel for myself the definition of what it was to be musically emotional. after listening to this special song, every tiny thought inside my mind broke down and crumbled, it was exactly what i needed. alone as i let myself cry and fall apart, there was a hidden comfort in colin oberst’s brilliant poetry as it immediately became easy to relate to his familiar words. relistening once again, lost in my own sea of chaos, this music still brings me back to that same sad but very hopeful feeling.

if winter ends
[from letting off the happiness 1998]


i dreamt of a fever,
one that would cure me
of this cold, winter set heart
with heat to melt these frozen tears
and burned with reasons
as to carry on
into these twisted months
i plunge
without a light to follow
but i swear that i would follow anything
if it would
just get me out of here

and so you get
six months to adapt
and then you get
two more to leave town
in the event
that you do adapt
we still
might not want you around

but i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
but i know that that is impossible now
and so i drink to stay warm
and to kill selected memories
because i just can’t think anymore about that
or about her tonight

i give myself three days
to feel better or i swear
i’ll drive right off
a fucking cliff
because if i can’t make myself feel better
then how can i expect anyone else to give a shit?

and i scream
for the sunlight
or a car to take me
just get me past
this dead and eternal snow
because i swear
that i am dying
slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring
is waiting somewhere

just take me there
just take me there
just take me there
and lie to me and say
its going to be alright
its going to be alright
you worry too much kid
its going to be alright.

art by zoë regöczy

4 Responses

  1. Anonymous

    I can really understand what you said about Bright Eyes. When I first heard Oberst’s music I was alone in the car and it was raining outside and tears just started pouring down my face…

    Thanks for keeping such a lovely blog 🙂

  2. music is art

    thankyou 😉

    it must be those winter blues taking over… glad you appreciate this song as much as i do

  3. Anonymous

    Conor Oberst is Bright Eyes…
    Colin Meloy is the Decemberists.

    I listened to this album so much when I first heard it. Thanks for reminding me.